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About Cologne

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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And then there’s the mark of the old church by the Riedwald – I mean, who hasn’t felt that eerie, haunting beauty under its ancient arches? The churchyard is sprinkled with tales of love, sorrow, and rebellious spirit. It’s kinda magical; I once nearly burst out laughing when I realized how therapy sessions sometimes mirror life’s comedy and tragedy, much like a perfectly aged wine shared with a pal.

USM: A Work of Applied Art